CHANGE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE SO HARD. HOW I DEVELOPED MOTIVATION, DEFEATED THE EVIL VILLAIN AND CHANGED MY IDENTITY.

“Who are you to tell others about habits and motivation if you aren’t motivated yourself?”

Marisa, my girlfriend at the time, blurted these words out to me as I sat on the couch and ate a double-double with fries for the second time that week. We had been three years deep into a relationship that I thought would be lasting for the rest of my life. Needless to say, these words were a kick to the crotch at the time. They were also true, a good momentum boost, and one of the main reasons you should continue reading.

In the months before this statement, I had become increasingly indifferent not only to what I was eating each day, but also to other habits like sleep, reading, meditation, and even brushing my teeth every day(gross I know). My career was built in the health and fitness industry around supporting and helping my clients(and other trainers) reach their goals.  This had been my path in life since I was 18 years old and had helped to build confidence both physically and mentally. I had always believed that a healthy lifestyle was the platform for being successful in all areas of life. Yet there I was not living the life I was preaching. 

My life had started to resemble the movie Groundhog Day. I would wake up and live the same day over and over and over again. I knew at the time that this wasn’t what I wanted my life to be. I felt like I was designed to do more but I couldn’t find the consistency to find my way toward it. Her words at that time gave me the push down the right path.

MOTIVATION AND WILLPOWER

Like you and the rest of the world I had certain beliefs, habits, and tendencies ingrained in me from childhood. From a young age, I observed what family, friends, and the media said was right. That I had to be motivated and have the willpower to be happy and successful in life. I grew up thinking there was something wrong with me because I just didn’t have the drive that others did. I kept thinking in my head that someday I would wake up and be so motivated that my life would change.  

That never happened. The movies and television try to paint this portrait of overnight success after a family member’s death or a dramatic turning point after a kid is picked on at school. As if motivation or willpower is a light switch you can suddenly turn on. The thing is you don’t all of a sudden wake-up and have willpower. You don’t become and stay motivated overnight from one singular event, no matter how harsh the words from an ex-girlfriend might be.

These moments do exist but they aren’t what builds continued success. These moments are useful instead to make us realize that we aren’t on the right path and help to give us that push down the new one. 

STAYING ON PATH

How we stay on the path is a whole different animal. This is what I struggled with so much over the years. I would wait and wait for a turning point and then when I found one I would jump down the new path.  

The South Beach Diet. Only eating carbs on the weekend. Sleeping in increments of 90 minutes. Crossfit. You name it and I tried it. From nutrition to workouts to productivity to every self-help book you could imagine. I had so many turning points and so many paths I went down that I eventually found myself on a path that didn’t have a way out.

Unfortunately, this has gotten more and more common as the years have gone by. The internet has exploded and served to create bright and shiny lights to distract us as we move down the path.  90% of the content on the internet has been created since 2016. Every minute there are nearly 70,000 posts on Instagram, 300 hours of video uploaded to Youtube, 474,000 Twitter updates and 2.5 million Facebook posts shared. For a society that spends so much time on social media, it is easy to see how I veered off the path.

THE TWO IDEAS THAT HELPED PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER

One day of research changed everything. Ok maybe not one day. It was more like over 1095 days where everything changed. 1095 days combined with more than 17 years of trial and error with myself and clients.

It actually did start with only two ideas though. Two ideas that I just kept seeing everywhere. It seemed like every book I read talked about creating habits and minimizing distractions. 

The two ideas were pretty basic:

Create small simple habits that you could do over and over. Habits so simple that you didn’t need much motivation to do them each day. 

Minimize the number of distractions that took the focus away from doing the habit.

I kept thinking that it couldn’t be that easy and that there had to be more to it, but like everything else, I gave these ideas a shot. 

The area of my life I started with was the one I thought would give me the most bang for my buck. At the time I was struggling so much with nutrition that I knew if I could improve in this area that it would impact everything else in my life. I started with the most generic nutrition habit I could find. A food log. Food logs weren’t anything new to me at the time. I had used dozens of them by that point.  The “only” difference this time was that I wasn’t counting calories, on a crazy diet, or even trying to change anything for that matter. To complete the habit all I needed to do was to fill out the food log each day. Nothing else. 

I did my best and filled this simple food log out every day for a month. I kept tabs on what I ate, when I ate it, along with what I was feeling and thinking before and after eating. I also tracked my sleep, how often I moved, and my hydration levels. 

A funny thing started happening over that next month. I started to gain momentum.

Each day the food log would make me aware of how little sleep I was getting and how crappy that made me feel the next day. It led me to move, even if just for a walk, 5-6 days a week. It helped me pay attention to the foods I was eating and how I felt after consuming them. It brought awareness to hunger cues like boredom, avoidance, and emotions.

These small changes led to more small changes. As these small changes started to compound they led to even bigger changes. With the newfound strategy, I started applying these ideas everywhere I could with the same amount of success. This strategy helped me lose 30 pounds, start a successful meditation practice, journal every day,  and reduce my stress. My identity and how I saw myself changed. Gone were the days of feeling stuck in the same day over and over. I became the guy who sought out adventure, energy, and cool shit. My life turned into one that I was proud of and I became more “motivated” than ever to keep improving.

As I was repeating the process with different habits I started to think of how it would work best for the average person doing the same. How I could make it as simple as possible to put in place. This was the beginning of the Habit Playbook. This structure is the result of years of research combined with trial and error.  With an end result that will be as effective for you as it has been for me.